Saturday, September 22, 2012

The Weekend... Lovely Weekends!

We sure enjoy our weekends these days! I am so grateful for family and the blessing they are, especially during this time in our lives.

The kids are outside playing, playing, playing! I'm especially tired today. I've tried really hard to keep moving. But I think I'm to the point of requiring a nap. So, I thought I'd say hello now since I won't be able to later (bedtime's too crazy here.) And now I'm off for a little snooze. (I hope!)

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Coming Along: How I'm Coping With My Husband Being Away

How do I Cope? 
M&M's! Lot's of M&M's! NO, Just Kidding!!!

Leif has lived away at school now for four months. I thought I would never get used to him being away. Let me clarify one thing before going on, the loneliness never really goes away. And you can't mark these words later when I have a rough patch in the upcoming road. But, I will say that I have come along in this journey to a point where I can enjoy the moment of our short visits for the joy that they are without coming unglued when he has to leave again. How have I come to this point?

I've noticed that I have started consciously stopping my heart and mind from wandering too far into a pity-party before I fall in too deep. When the loneliness tries to creep in or I start to dread parenting without his help before he even leaves, or just after he has left, I force myself to refocus my attention on the fact that we've all survived this long with plenty of good things along the way. We can continue on. I just don't let myself think or feel too emotionally about it all. I think this saves me. It's taken time. But it has come.

Leif left this afternoon and we had had a wonderful two days together. He was walking down the stairs to go and I told him that I had had a great time. He looked up at me with a little grin and gave the classic reply of  "I did too! We'll have to do this again sometime." Just like the good ol' days of anticipating the next date, except there are no restrictions when you date your husband ;).

We have been blessed! Even though it is hard a lot of the time. I am grateful for the help that I have received in so many ways. It feels good to recognize that the pity-parties are fewer and further apart lately. We're coming along.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Heaven is Just Being Together

Ahhh, heavenly!  It's been a long time since Leif and I have sprawled out on our stomachs, side by side, boys in bed, and cruised the internet together. Each just enjoying the moment and sharing bits and pieces of whatever we're looking at. Sounds so romantic doesn't it!:) *wink* *wink*

Leif came home yesterday afternoon and will leave again tomorrow. But we've had such a great time together and as a family during the short but sweet visit. I think we're finally learning how to handle the coming and going. Well, I have. Caleb on the other hand has just recently showed more visible signs of anxiety. Poor guy.  But that's for another post.

This visit we've been able to share a fun family pizza dinner night and then a great movie and ice cream night for Leif and I. Then, this morning we all got out the door for school on time since we had Leif's help. After we dropped the kids off for school Leif and I started the big project of painting and fixing up my/our bedroom. And we got A Lot done! I am so thrilled! I still have some finishing touches that I hope to get done. But I'm really happy with everything so far.:) AND THEN Grandma and Grandpa watched the boys tonight so Leif and I could go out for a real date. We had a wonderful dinner and visit. And that brings us to where this post all began. Leif and I together. Yes, that will be one of the best things about heaven for me. Leif and I together.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Rough Day - Turned Good

This morning my alarm went off around 6:15AM. There was not a chance that I was climbing out of bed at that hour, no matter how bad I needed an uninterrupted shower. Before I knew it the clock was saying 7:00. Jakob's supposed to be out the door by 7:30. No one in the house was stirring. Not even Caleb who was out cold next to me in my snug warm bed... Time to make an executive decision: We were sleeping in. After all, we had a busy weekend.:)

Jakob finally woke me up around 7:45. He was very confused by my decision. I tried to play it down. I know, I'm TERRIBLE! But anyway, I thought since I had made the boys late for school AND breakfast I would make breakfast burritos. While I was making breakfast and the boys were "getting dressed" AKA "wrestling." I noticed that Caleb had a deep bronchial cough.wheezing. Then I noticed he was a little warm (after he cooled off from wrestling.) I decided to be "responsible" and keep him home from school.

By this time it was almost 8:30 and Jakob realized how late he was going to be for his "Morning Work" portion of class. He was distraught and by now I was Exhausted again (seriously ridiculous!) I finally got everyone in the van and Jakob to school. Luckily he had chilled out a little bit and was able to compose himself and go to class (turned out his teacher this year is A LOT more laid back about tardy's than last year, THANK YOU!!!)

So, I walked into my house after dropping Jakob off and it seriously looked like a bomb had gone off, or maybe a toy-filled cannon at least. Wow! I had so much to do and I simply could NOT get the strength to do anything. Nothing. I was even struggling to focas my vision enough to lay down to read. Not to mention that I had y sweet high-maintenance Caleb home who HAD to have my help and attention every five minutes. By 10:00 I couldn't stay awake another minute. I put JJ in his crib (he was ready for his nap as usual.) And I really thought Caleb might fall asleep too. No Luck! I tried and tried to be nice and help him to just find a way to play or sleep quietly so I could get some sleep. It just wasn't happening:( So unfortunately I had to just close his door and lock it (yes, I occasionally lock my kids doors. That's what you do when you're bedroom doesn't have a door to lock.) Anyway, I put in earplugs and fell into a fit full sleep. Eventually Caleb fell asleep. But he did scream the last part of my nap because I had a nightmare that I was trying to take care of my kids that were screaming but my head was pounding and I couldn't get my ears to hear clearly. Finally I pulled myself out of the dream and opened Caleb's door. However, I could Not wake up. I managed to drag myself to my lap top and put on his favorite Netflix (Might Machines.) And I fell back into bed. Around 1:30 I finally started to come out of the fog I was in. But I felt like a dead weight. I needed food and medicine. My body hurt all over. But honestly, I couldn't make myself get up (I kept praying for strength) until JJ started chattering and calling out "Maaama, Where are yooou!" How could I not get up for that!? My sweet little buddy!

Before JJ went down for nap he Really wanted a marshmallow. I told him he had to wait until after nap. So the first thing out of his mouth as I got him out of bed was ""Marshmallow!" That motivated me to make rice krispie treats. After all, I needed to eat, right!? They were a yummy treat. But even after eating plenty of them I still couldn't get going with cleaning up. It is really hard on days like this!!!

Well, 2:45P rolled around and I loaded the boys into the van and we picked up Jakob from school. By 3:30 I knew I was in BIG trouble. I had four more hours and all three boys at home. I had a disaster surrounding me and Leif is scheduled to be home tomorrow afternoon. I REALLY wanted to have the house clean and the toys organized and de-junked when he got home so we can jump into bigger projects. But I Could Not get up to do more then absolutely necessary. I finally resorted to caffeine.  On my rough days I sometimes sip a Crystal Light Energy and one 20oz can last me two days. Today I drank the whole thing in the last four hours of the day. And mercifully, the boys and I were able to get the house put together, dinner eaten and cleaned up, and scripture and prayer with Papa over Skype. I am SO grateful!!

Tomorrow I will Hopefully (and most likely) take both boys to school on time. I am hoping to get the toys sorted through and half of them boxed up, and the floors vacuumed, all before Leif gets home. Wish me Luck!!:)...

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety Jig!

Well, we're home and very Tired!! Very Tired. But only because we had a great weekend!

Honesty: You Better Believe It!

This YouTube/Mormon Message felt very close to home for the kids and I as we watched it together. We could relate well to the wife and her three children who were telling the story about their good father. May we all have such integrity, courage, and devotion!
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