Friday, March 25, 2011

Gratitude

Tonight marks the beginning of an on-going journey. Join me as I journey through Gratitude. I will share my thanks in these posts as well as any new insight that I might glean along the way. I hope you will take a moment to share your feelings and thoughts as we go as well.

"How can we cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude? President Joseph F. Smith, sixth President of the Church, provided an answer. Said he: “The grateful man sees so much in the world to be thankful for, and with him the good outweighs the evil. Love overpowers jealousy, and light drives darkness out of his life.” He continued: “Pride destroys our gratitude and sets up selfishness in its place. How much happier we are in the presence of a grateful and loving soul, and how careful we should be to cultivate, through the medium of a prayerful life, a thankful attitude toward God and man!” 
President Smith is telling us that a prayerful life is the key to possessing gratitude.
Do material possessions make us happy and grateful? Perhaps momentarily. However, those things which provide deep and lasting happiness and gratitude are the things which money cannot buy: our families, the gospel, good friends, our health, our abilities, the love we receive from those around us. Unfortunately, these are some of the things we allow ourselves to take for granted." - President Thomas S. Monson  
May we ever be grateful! Let me share a bit of my gratitude tonight:

  • Oh how grateful I am for the warmth and serenity I feel within my home. It is my comfort zone and my refuge.
  • Words can not express my gratitude for my precious companion. His very presence calms my soul.
  • There are times that it is okay to be grateful for "things." This is one of them: I am SO grateful for my dishwasher! So very!
What are YOU grateful for Right Now!? Share the Love by making a comment!

Foto Friday March Week 4

My Beautiful Baby!
From Foto Friday March Week 4

From Foto Friday March Week 4
From Foto Friday March Week 4
Jakob is wearing a St. Patrick's day hat that my dear friend sent us for St. Patrick's day.
From Foto Friday March Week 4
Jakob working on ClickN'Kids for School.
From Foto Friday March Week 4
Playgroup friend's enjoying the chicks.
From Foto Friday March Week 4
From Foto Friday March Week 4
The sink sprung a leak. Caleb insisted on being right next to Leif as he fixed the problem. 
From Foto Friday March Week 4
Ending the day with a little play time with the chickies. 
From Foto Friday March Week 4
From Foto Friday March Week 4
Caleb kept picking his chicks up and moving them to a certain spot. We asked him to stop picking them up. He responded with a frustrated "they keep moving!" 
From Foto Friday March Week 4
From Foto Friday March Week 4

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Anxiety Reality and the Plan to Triumph!

So, a few people around me, and those whom I usually talk with on the phone almost daily have noticed a change in my normal routines and attitudes. Let me share a few of the reasons for the change. Here are a few excerpts from my personal blog:

"When I gave birth to my twins and then lost them, it was no surprise that I was in a state of deep introspection, mild depression, anxiety, grieving, physical, emotional, mental, and all encompassing pain. All weirdness including good, bad, and very ugly days and moments were completely acceptable, explainable, and even expected. I was grieving. And gradually I gathered the scattered pieces, fit them back together again, and called it functioning.

So what do I call it now?" 

I went on to list my symptoms and how they all had come back into my life to haunt me. I will spare you the details. However, in order to make any sense at all I will list the reasons plain and simple for you:
  • I am overweight for my body frame.
  • I am addicted to sweets.
  • I lack exercise in my life for many reasons.
  • HCG Diet didn't work, Gluten Free change didn't continue to help, switching to non-hormonal birth control didn't help.
  • Stopped taking Anti-Depressants. (Yes, I know I've said I wouldn't do it again. Well, I did! Sorry!)
So, all good, bad and ugly reality of my world is in living color at the moment. It is no question that my illness is partially heredity. However, I have wounds and issues that I need to take care of. They have festered long enough and I choose to heal them NOW! 
I'll let you in on my world on a Bad Day, or a Bad Moment. This is what happens to me when I band-aid my problems and forget they exisit:

- Personal Blog- "Let's talk about daily life in my shoes at the moment:

One Word: Yo-Yo! Uuuuuup -Doooowwwn. Uuuuuup -Dooooown. Wanna Ride, really - it's fun?! Uh, not really though!

Today the struggles I faced was Social Anxiety, General Anxiety. A feeling of not being comfortable within my own skin. Irritability and critical judgement: "if only that girl would STOP clicking her pen! I'm going insane!!" I am going to KILL those dogs if they don't stop barking!"  I can't believe he just sat down to that game, dinner's done and the table is a disaster -glare, huf-puf." "There is No Way we'll buy THAT for him. It's not Good for him... Oh, it's for his migraine, sorry!!!" "I'm So sick of ME! Please let me hide somewhere before I cause any more damage!" I can't stand the thought of weaning JJ to a bottle full time. It's makes me really sad, and it's more work. - Ugg, I really hate my jug size, maybe weaning is a good thing after all. Oh shoot I need to warm the bottle. JUNK!" "Jakob's talking a lot about my Gluten Free Diet I hope I'm not creating anxiety within him. Jakob's been complaining of sudden stomach aches. I can't decide if it's food or anxiety related. I am afraid that it might be anxiety..What if I pass on my issues through genetics or example? Good Heavens!" "Caleb's diaper rash is terrible! What foods cause this and how can I possibly find out and keep him away from them?" "JJ's still rubbing his ear, could it be infected!?" "How in the world can Leif enjoy my company, I'm such a mess!" "

I am revealing these realities in hopes that it helps my loved ones understand my weirdness a little better. Don't be repelled, just know that I'm working on getting better. Most of the time, I'm mostly cheerful and my normal self. 

In hopes that this post might help someone else struggling with Anxiety I will share some of the things that I am   doing or plan to do to help me feel the best that I can.

Mental and Spiritual
  • Believe it or not, Home School has helped. It's not always easy. But there is a peace that has come. Peace is good.
  • Kinesiology (Muscle Testing, Touch for Health). Leif is polishing up on his Massage Therapy skills so he can help me.
  • I am reading and will follow Karol Truman's book Feelings Buried Alive Never Die
  • I am re-reading and applying several of the helpful tips and tools given in Patricia Pott's book My Journey from Darkness to Light
  • I will be taking Clarocet ERT. This is a natural supplement to help with Anxiety and Mild Depression. This company has several supplement options available including supplements for children. 
  • I will also be using Bach Flower Remedies Rescue Remedy Natural Stress Relief. This product has over 100 4-5 star reviews. I look forward to having it's help!
  • I will be walking regularly throughout the week. 
  • I will express gratitude openly and more often.
Physical
  • I will be walking regularly throughout the week. 
  • Enzyme Supplements. So far the GlutenEase and Digest Gold have made a noticeable difference in my daily life. So I will continue those and add Lypo Gold in hopes for more improvement. -Take the Enzyme Deficiency Test to find out which enzymes you might need. Enzyme Deficiency is a common condition that isn't often taken care of well enough. I love this test because they give you a lot of good information about the enzymes and why and how they can help. 
  • Professional Botanicals: InDigest
  • MutiVitamin

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Foto Friday March Week 3

From Foto Friday March week 3
We have had a great week it's been full of change, improvement, togetherness, and love!
From Foto Friday March week 3
One of Jakob's favorite new school tools is our White Board. He Loves to draw. All of his drawings have a whole story to tell behind them.
From Foto Friday March week 3
A week or so ago I showed the tiny closet that Leif made me in a nook space behind the wall. Well, this week he opened up the opposite wall and we store tools and household maintenance tools there. LOVE IT!
From Foto Friday March week 3
It seems that almost every time I turn around Jakob is in the process of creating something new. Whether it be with paper through drawing, or freezing something, or taping random toys and tools together to create a camera (such as this item) We Love Jakob's creative mind and heart!
From Foto Friday March week 3
Jakob hiding as he waits for his friends to come over.
From Foto Friday March week 3
I slipped away one afternoon to the School Book Fair. I was excited to read Caleb the book that the Librarian helped me pick for him. It's called "Hot Rod Hamster." Caleb loves anything with wheels and he loves animals. So this was a perfect fit for him. Fun and Precious Moments!

***
One of my close friends whom I grew up with (Heidi (Potts) Hamilton) moved to CC about an hour and a half away from us. We went up to visit them on Friday. It was so fun to catch up a bit and watch our kids and husbands enjoy each other's company. It warms my heart to see our kids together. Sends me back in time...
From Foto Friday March week 3
From Foto Friday March week 3
- Jakob, this is a picture of a true friend. She is encouraging you without judgement. Pure! -
From Foto Friday March week 3
From Foto Friday March week 3
From Foto Friday March week 3
From Foto Friday March week 3
From Foto Friday March week 3
From Foto Friday March week 3
From Foto Friday March week 3
*** Can't wait til' next time Heidi!***

Our Silky Chicks hatched this weekend. They are so cute and friendly. They walk into our hands and calm down when we talk to them. We found a great Brooder Pen at the local thrift store. It's perfect size and it allows us to interact with the chicks a lot more with no worries of tipping over boxes or heat lamps. Very fun and So Sweet!
From Foto Friday March week 3
From Foto Friday March week 3
From Foto Friday March week 3
From Foto Friday March week 3
From Foto Friday March week 3
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