GRADE: 22/25 (Your perspective on the conversation is well written. I would have liked to read more about how you guided him through the awareness wheel with sensory data, thoughts, feelings and actions.)
June 22, 2011
Leif’s Awareness Wheel Interview
Leif walked in from work feeling tired and annoyed. Working at the public school as the In-School Suspension Supervisor and Lunch Program Coordinator had taken its toll on this particular day. Luckily, things seemed to be going smoothly at home so he was able to take a moment to unwind and digest the events of the day. He grabbed a few animal cookies from the cupboard and plopped himself down on the couch. It didn’t take long before Lena , Leif’s wife, walked in and asked how his day had gone.
Massaging his face in his hands Leif’s response was a muffled, “I wish I knew why they insisted on pushing against the rules so hard.” Lena listened attentively and assured him that she was serious about wanting to hear about his day. So he went on by saying, “Well, all Hades broke loose first thing in the morning during breakfast. I walked in and the lunch-ladies were running behind, the kids were anxiously grumbling for their food, and then Jesse put James in a headlock. James started screaming for dear life, which got all of the kids laughing, and out of line. I walked over to the boys and insisted that Jesse let his brother go. He finally let go after screaming in my face and just for good measure, James turned to his brother and punched him.” “And that was just breakfast?” Lena said in response to the drama Leif had just painted for her.
“Yep! And lunch was a doozy too.” Leif said, stretching his legs out as if he had just run a race. “James ended up throwing another fit during lunch. This time he refused to go to the office and the janitor and I came very close to having to carry him to the office, the vegetable served today was corn and we had at least three corn fights to break up, and to top it off we had inside recess today! You wouldn’t believe how many kids tried to steal fruit off of the fruit cart during recess. I found myself making a chart in my head of the kids who I can and can’t trust within the school. I am so glad that school is almost out for Summer Break! I really want to be able to trust these kids.”
Narrative of the Five Listening Skills
(From the Interviewer’s Point of View)
This interview actually took place later in the evening after my husband and I had put the kids to bed. All of the story and narrative is how our conversation/interview went except for the timeframe of the day, and the animal crackers.
I told Leif that I needed to interview him using the Awareness Wheel and my newly learned Listening Skills. He agreed to accommodate me. We sat on the bed facing each other and began to talk. I asked him if he had a particular issue that was on his mind. He brought up work and actually started the interview off perfectly by stating his wishes immediately. After that comment, he hesitated a bit and I used the 3rd skill titled “Invite”, by saying, “keep going, I really want to hear about this.” This comment gave him the assurance that I was interested in what he had to say and that I was ready to sit and listen through the duration of the conversation.
As Leif spoke, the thing that I noticed the most was how often I had to stop myself from ending his sentences or asking questions that weren’t necessary and that would have stopped him from sharing all of his thoughts and feelings. When I did ask questions I made sure that they were asked at the right time. To clarify something he said, for example.
As we talked, I nonchalantly glanced at the page that I had copied the 5 Listening Skills and the Awareness Wheel on. This helped me remember some of the skills that weren’t very natural for me throughout the conversation. Thinking back, I can recall using each of the 5 Listening Skills and covering all of the points in the Awareness Wheel. As a whole, it was a conversation that we both walked away from feeling content and valued.
What Was This Like for Me?
This interview/conversation was an eye-opener for me. It helped me recognize some of my strong points in communication, but most importantly, it helped me recognize the things that I need to work on such as letting the speaker lead the conversation and not putting words into their mouth. Truly listening and attending the conversation completely. The Awareness Wheel helped me consciously pay attention to whether we were covering all of the necessary bases in the conversation in order for each of us to walk away feeling like our needs had been met. It also helps me sift through the conversation and really get to the heart of the issue, which, in this case was Leif’s desire for these kids to be trustworthy and obedient.
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