Baby Dreams

Last night was one of those nights that you wake up wondering if you slept. It's a known thing that when you're pregnant your dreams are more vivid. Last night I had an ongoing dream with several stories and one endless concern.

No matter what was happening in my dream I found myself in a panic because I couldn't find my baby. Apparently I left the baby with someone and they kept forgetting to bring the baby to me.

I only share these types of non-uplifting things "for the record." For those of us who have lost a child it is important to recognize the signs of grieving and healing. These dreams most likely stem from the loss of my friend's baby and my heart being sad for her, as well as my heart wishing I had my girls.

I have been pregnant two times since I lost the girls. Each time I have had a baby boy. After finding out that it's a boy my heart and mind have to re-register that my girls are in heaven. I NEVER not want my boy, I just always go through a time of wanting my girls TOO.

Ahh, the journey...