Friday, July 18, 2008

Mama Is Sick Sick Sick!

Well it's official, I am sick! I've been hoping that the infection would pass by with just a trace of a cold. But it's not to be. We're in Alton resting and my body has taken to opportunity to really give an excuse to rest. My throat is really sore and swollen and my body aches all over. And I am Tired!

My sweet hubby is making me some homemade chicken and wild rice soup. MMM! It's YUMMY!

Jakob is up north with grandma and grandpa Baron and aunt Larissa and kids. He is doing well. Last night he struggled a lot before he fell asleep. Leif ended up doing story time and the rhyming game over the phone as Jakob tried to calm down. But he really struggled and brought me to tears as he cried that he wanted Mama to hold him. I sang to him as we both had tears rolling down our cheeks. He finally fell asleep while I sang to him over the phone. It was a sad but precious moment. Hopefully tonight is better.

Well, I'm going to eat my soup.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Realities Details

Our week so far has been filled with pondering, talking, and making decisions. Leif had a summer job all lined up to start when we got home from our trip. Shortly after we got home he started and soon found out it was not going to work out. The company was not established enough. They weren't really ready to have employees yet. So we have been job hunting... again.

When you live in a small town, your qualifications aren't really that applicable when you are looking for a job. The question is, who is hiring and are you willing to work for the amount that they are able to pay you? Leif was really hoping to start working for Zions Bank. But unfortunately because of the economy they are holding off on hiring for a bit. We are hoping that he will be able to work for them by the middle of next month. Until then, Leif has had to get a job at Wendys so we can pay the bills. I feel blessed that he is humble and responsible enough to take the job so he can take care of us.

Our health is still no fun. We all have colds and Jakob did end up getting it too. So we're smearing on our GOOT and taking our vitamins, and trying to get better.

We will all start school full time online the end of August. Leif will study with Dixie State, I will study with Global College Of Natural Medicine, and Jakob will be in Preschool and Dance. And Caleb will probably learn to sit up. :)

We have many blessings to be grateful for and many things to look forward to!

The Five Love Languages

Tonight I have been pondering a lot about one of the most helpful books that Leif and I have ever read together. We were blessed to read it right after we got married and we have referred to it throughout our marriage. It is called The Five Love Languages written by Gary Chapman. Rather then trying to convince you that Dr. Gary Chapman has some great advise, I will give you a taste of his great work and let you decide for yourself.

The following is from his website:

"Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English. No matter how hard you try to express love in “English”, if your spouse understands only “Chinese”, you will never understand how to love each other. . ."

Words of Affirmation
"Mark Twain once said “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” Verbal appreciation speaks powerfully to persons whose primary Love Language is “Words of Affirmation.” Simple statements, such as, “You look great in that suit,” or “You must be the best baker in the world! I love your oatmeal cookies,” are sometimes all a person needs to hear to feel loved. . ."

Quality Time
"Quality time is more than mere proximity. It’s about focusing all your energy on your mate. A husband watching sports while talking to his wife is NOT quality time. Unless all of your attention is focused on your mate, even an intimate dinner for two can come and go without a minute of quality time being shared.
Quality conversation is very important in a healthy relationship. It involves sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. A good mate will not only listen, but offer advice and respond to assure their mate they are truly listening. Many mates don’t expect you to solve their problems. They need a sympathetic listener.
An important aspect of quality conversation is self-revelation. In order for you to communicate with your mate, you must also be in tune with your inner emotions. It is only when you understand your emotions and inner feelings will you then be able to share quality conversation, and quality time with your mate. . ."

Receiving Gifts
"Some mates respond well to visual symbols of love. If you speak this love language, you are more likely to treasure any gift as an expression of love and devotion. People who speak this love language often feel that a lack of gifts represents a lack of love from their mate. Luckily, this love language is one of the easiest to learn.
If you want to become an effective gift giver, many mates will have to learn to change their attitude about money. If you are naturally a spender, you will have no trouble buying gifts for your mate. However, a person who is used to investing and saving their money may have a tough time adjusting to the concept of spending money as an expression of love. These people must understand that you are investing the money not in gifts, but in deepening your relationship with your mate. . ."

Acts of Service
"Sometimes simple chores around the house can be an undeniable expression of love. Even simple things like laundry and taking out the trash require some form of planning, time, effort, and energy. Just as Jesus demonstrated when he washed the feet of his disciples, doing humble chores can be a very powerful expression of love and devotion to your mate. . ."

Physical Touch
"Many mates feel the most loved when they receive physical contact from their partner. For a mate who speaks this love language loudly, physical touch can make or break the
relationship. . ."

You can define what your love language is by taking a 30 second quiz on Dr. Chapman's website: He also gives some suggestions on how to apply the love languages in our relationship as well as how to begin the reconstruction of a shaky marriage. Dr. Chapman addresses the following subjects on his website:

Making Marriage Work: It doesn't have to feel like a chore
Getting Started: Six First steps to a new beginning (from newlyweds to empty-nesters)
Conflict Resolution: Finding Hope in Anger's Clothing

The Frequently Asked Questions that are discussed on the website expand on a lot of struggles that we might face at one time or another.

Frequently Asked Questions About Marriage

1. How can I get him to really talk to me? answer
2. When do I address my spouse's irritating habits, and when do I "let it go"? answer
3. How do I nurture a spiritual relationship with my spouse when I don't feel comfortable praying out loud? answer
4. We are both working full time and when I get home, I start dinner but my husband comes in and sits on the couch. How do I encourage him to participate in household chores? answer
5. My spouse is not a believer, but I am. How do I cope with this? answer
6. My spouse professes to be a believer, but I see no fruit in his/her life. What should I do? answer
7. I found out my husband is addicted to pornography. Where do I turn? answer
8. I have tried, but I really don't enjoy sex. I am just doing it to be obedient. What can I do? answer
9. We got married because I was pregnant and now I feel like I have made a big mistake. Can I get a divorce or do I have to stick it out? If so, where do I start? answer
10. How can I get her/him to have sex more often and make sure we both enjoy it? answer
11. After being married one year, I'm not sure I'm "in love" anymore. Where could we have gone wrong? answer
12. I recently got married, but have been on my own for many years. How do we build a life together? How do I submit to my spouse's decisions after making my own decisions for so long? answer
13. My husband is in a position of authority within the church. I feel uncomfortable sharing my struggles with anyone at church and feel so alone. answer
14. My husband/wife is emotionally abusive. My friends are all telling me not to stay. When is it okay to leave? answer

Dr. Chapman also addresses a lot about anger and apology on his website and in his books. I appreciated his book titled Five Love Languages For Children too. I think it will be more beneficial later on down the road!

I really hope that you might find the Five Love Languages to be as helpful to you as it has been for Leif and I.

God Bless!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Where Does Jesus Live?

I have been thinking a lot about how we are teaching Jakob about the gospel and about the Savior. We are trying to make these subjects common topics of discussion. This morning as we walked into the church I reminded Jakob that we needed to be reverent because Jesus was with us and He wants us to be reverent. Jakob's eyes and ears perked up and he began searching. He began asking "Where is Jesus?" Then he saw the stake high councilman walking to the stand and he asked "Is that Jesus?" We would smile and try to answer him the best that we could.

He tried to figure out where Jesus was through the majority of the meeting. But as he was looking, I began to become more and more perplexed. How in the world do you explain to a 3 year old where Jesus lives? We could tell him that Jesus is in his heart. But that isn't entirely true. That is the Holy Ghost. Jesus is a physical being, therefore he can't dwell in our hearts. So where does He live? Well He lives in heaven. So, where is heaven? All around us. But why can't we see it? Well . . . ? There are answers to these questions. But they aren't the answers that a preschooler understands.

So Leif and I pondered about how we can help Jakob understand. Leif prayed about it, and this is what he came up with. Tomorrow for family home evening we are going to prepare a peach cobbler without Jakob knowing and have it cooking in grandma's oven when we go down for family home evening (we have FHE outside in the back yard) When Jakob walks in the kitchen he will surely notice that there is a delicious smell emanating from the oven. Thus the beginning of the lesson. We will talk about how we can smell the yummy cobbler, but he can't see it. But he knows it's there because of the sweet familiar smell.

That is like heaven and Jesus. Heaven is all around us. We can't see heaven or Jesus, (unless He wants us to) but we know that they are there because of the sweet feelings we feel when they are near. When Christ is near, the Holy Ghost witnesses this to our heart. It is up to us whether we recognize the feelings or not.
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